My Prayer

“Bad company corrupts good character.” - 1st Corinthians 15:33

Sometimes, the weight of the world presses on me
so hard that I can hardly breathe -
Only short breaths pulse through my lungs,
I cannot breathe deeply.
Just as it is with bad company
they tighten us, strain us
Only shallow thoughts flick through our mind,
we make ourselves content with the trivial.

Our character begins to decay with time
the influence of those we know
chipping away at our passion, our desire
for our one and only true God.
This is my prayer -
that we would turn away from anything
that threatens to minimize our desire for Christ
and maximize our tolerance - no, even our love -
for things that He abhors.
That we would shake our heads and defend
the truths we hold in our hearts
from His word.

This is my prayer.

Bloggy Makeover!

 

Welcome to my new and improved blog! :) Joy, for me, is not usually something I struggle to have. But in my sophomore and junior year, I experienced some pretty hard "down-yos." Thus, Joy in the Morning was perfect for my life at that moment in time. God has mercifully taken away much of the sadness and discontentment that I experienced during that time...but as you may have guessed from my last post, discontentment still lingers and I know in my heart of hearts that it's because of my irrational doubt about God's true fullness and the satisfaction He brings merely by being in our lives. May I constantly be reminding myself that His love is truly unfailing...as precious and edifying as our relationships here on earth may be, they will inevitably fail us from time to time just as we fail others, being the fallen beings we are. 

My favorite singer, Chris Tomlin, wrote this song...just as Sovereign Grace's song "Joy in the Morning" was sort of my "bloggy theme song" before I changed it, this song, "Unfailing Love," will be fulfilling the same purpose. Enjoy. :)

A Follow-Up from my Last Post

I wanted to add this quote from one of my favorite authors, Leslie Ludy. I think it fits in perfectly with what I was trying to convey the other night, and it's been a huge challenge & encouragement for me lately.

"Even a beautiful God-scripted love story can never satisfy the way Jesus does. Even the most heroic and Christlike man on earth can never fulfill the longings of our heart like the true Prince and lover of our soul (Jesus Christ). And until we are able to truly make Him our first love, until we are willing to give up our dream of an earthly love story for His sake, we will never know the fullness of Him who fills us all in all. We will always be looking to a mere man to meet the desires of our heart, rather than to the One who created us, who knows us better than we know ourselves, and who gave His very life's blood to rescue us."

Beautiful, true words.

Right Now.

Right now, I am walking and holding Jesus' left hand.
On His right, I notice that there is a young man walking steadily
holding His right hand, I can't see who that person is, nor do I know
when he will be mine.
Jesus is standing in my way.
At first, I am anxious and I feel unrest in my heart; I want to let go
of Jesus' hand and grab the young man's hand instead.
But Jesus whispers to me, "Keep holding on."
Then I realize that the more I look at Jesus
the less I worry about the person on the other side.
Jesus is enough to satisfy me...His strong hand in
mine is all I need right now.
Years pass, and the three of us tread onward.
While I cannot deny my longing to see and touch
the grown man holding Jesus' right hand,
the strong, perfect hand in my own right grips me tightly
and does not let go, and my longing for that man is calmed.
My curiosity grows - but it never overcomes my deep love for Jesus.
Then one day, I feel Jesus squeeze my hand lightly, and I turn to gaze
into His precious eyes...they gaze back at me and He smiles.
Then he whispers..."It is time."
He brings the man's hand and places it gently in mine.
Then He releases our hands, only to walk behind us,
with two hands placed firmly
on our shoulders.
I revel deeply in the joy that the hand holding mine brings me,
but even more so,
I rejoice in the hands that are on our shoulders,
guiding us,
protecting us,
holding us up.

Lately, God has been convicting me of some serious idolatry. I am putting all of my confidence and finding all my hope and joy into the created rather than the Creator. I won't deny that, even though I'm only 17 (as my family members are quick to point out...I am grateful for their accountability!) I'm experiencing some fierce longings for an earthly romance, a pure and innocent wedding, and a sweet family to call my own. All good things in and of themselves...but to let go of Jesus' hand, running after these things that will only happen in this life? 

I hope this analogy can encourage anyone going through the same thing...the discontentment, the impatience (at my age, I know, I KNOW!), the pressure from all of the guys and girls who bounce from one boyfriend/girlfriend to the other, seemingly content and joyful with all of the attention and comfort that that brings. (As if.)

For those who long to sing this:

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." - Psalm 16:11

Fullness of joy...FULL. Complete. In HIS presence. At HIS right hand.

Forevermore.

Le Chemin, Le Verite, et La Vie.

A Little Creation for You All :)

I'm so sorry that I've neglected posting. I visit this blog every day (to check for comments and visit other blogs, you know, the norm) and I always feel a twinge of guilt for not posting. But then I never do. Ahh!

Well, about 5 weeks ago, my family and I went to our cabin on an island in Lake of the Woods, Canada. It's an incredible place and I always feel God's presence SO acutely when I'm there. It's very much in the middle of nowhere and there's no people around, except for the occasional boat. I love it, because it's the perfect getaway and the peacefulness makes me feel more content and ready to dive into God's word and worship. I had a TON of fun with my camera (I got it AFTER Canada last year so I hadn't used it there yet. SO exciting!) and with subsequent editing on Picnik. ;) Enjoy...and let's never, ever stop marveling at our Creator.

Just look at this sunset!! I couldn't believe how beautiful it was. Oh, those COLORS!!!

Every time I'm riding the boat out to our island, this is the song that runs through my head:

Indescribable by Chris Tomlin

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same...
You are amazing God!

Always a Purpose

Has anyone ever had a billion self-defeating thoughts rush into your head at once, so fast that all you feel like doing is crying and saying, "I'M JUST NOT WORTH IT!" Because I sure have. Today was one of those days. I'm constantly feeling like I'm just, not, good, enough! I'll never have what I want because what I want is too 'good' for me. Thoughts like: That brilliantly intelligent/very attractive/very spiritually mature (whatever they happen to be!) guy will NEVER like ME! rush into my head. That's a good example, unfortunately, there's so much more. These thoughts are not only a worthless cycle, but I think it goes deeper. You know? There's some trust issues I've got to work on.

 My precious Father loves me and has the most wonderful plan for my life, but here's the catch: I'll be miserable with what He's got unless...unless I am in Him and He has helped me shape my desires to His. Until then, my whole life will be drudgery: Waiting for high school to end will seem like I'm a marshmallow that God is getting ready to toast for smore's, completing college essays will seem like God slowly putting that stick through my abdomen, and waiting for my husband to make his stellar appearance will seem like God sloowwlllyyy roasting me over the fire. Fun, no?

And yet, there is another option. As long as I am in Christ, there is no drudgery...there is beautiful purpose. There is time to grow in the Word, to get lost in prayer, to completely lose myself in my Savior! The Christian life always has a God-given purpose, whether single or married, full of babies or barren, rich or poor... How amazing is that??

 I feel like I'm not good enough for what I desire, which is a family, but I'm realizing that it's not about being "good" enough, it's about waiting for God to shape and mold you, and to wait for His timing while all the time getting to know Him better. This was/is a huge lesson for me! I'm going to pray that God would continue to help us all be content...whether it be with our singleness, or with our barrenness, or just with anything we may want but not feel ready or worthy of attaining. God is enough to satisfy!

"As for God, his way is perfect" - Psalm 18:30

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" - Jeremiah 29:11

"The pain now is part of the pleasure later." - C.S. Lewis
 

"Our mentality is: 'God, tell me who, tell me when, and tell me how...and then I'll trust You!' What God wants us to see is that if He did this, our trust wouldn't be real. We want a definitive answer so that we don't feel weak, vulnerable and dependent on Him. But guess what? We are weak, vulnerable and dependent on Him. And it's only when we realize our true condition that God can demonstrate His love on our behalf." - Joshua Harris

Summer Camp Overview

 

Wow - what a week! I'm only just now getting to posting stuff on here. What can I say? It was a great time to grow in my walk. Our speaker was awesome - his name was Mike Salvati and he spoke about the gospel and how we can prevent becoming over-familiar with it and letting it become same-old, same-old.

He talked about how cultivating humility helps us in this fight. Realizing how insignificant we are compared to God's greatness gives us a humble heart, and we're more ready to open up our hearts and admit that we NEVER outgrow the gospel, we NEVER outgrow simple doctrine, and we NEVER stop needing God's grace, His grace that came to us because of the cross.

I'm not the only one impacted by his messages! I think the subject was perfect for our youth group...the majority of us have grown up in Christian homes and we are most definitely subject to become apathetic towards "simpler" theology and bible stories. I've come away from the week with, by God's grace, a humbler spirit. I've fallen into the pit of self-righteousness so many times. Growing up with godly parents (which has been a huge blessing, of course!) has sometimes tempted me to think "I know it all". But I don't know it all. I never want to let the gospel grow old.

Another convicting message was one of the workshops, given by Jordan F., our (hilarious!) game planner & leader. He really laid it out...his topic was on worldliness and materialism. I'm very much tempted by materialism. I rely on cute clothes and food to bring me joy more often than prayer and bible reading. It's hard to admit that, it's just so wrong! Why would I find silly, shallow things more joy-giving than God Himself?? Jordan did a great job of digging deep into our minds and unearthing our motives that cause our materialism. I feel more motivated to fight this sin.

In any case, it was an awesome, awesome week. The place we were - Conference Point Center in Lake Geneva - was BEAUTIFUL. We were on a peninsula surrounded by the lake and there were these swings dotted around the camp. I loved sitting to do my TAG (Time alone with God) time on this bench, right outside the gorgeous Victorian house all the girls stayed in:

I LOVED it! If I wanted Liz or Rachel or another friend, I could just call for them instead of trekking to their cabin. Hah!! It was an amazing week!

I'll leave you with this picture of a chipmunk that was running around - I'm really grateful for my camera's zoom! Hehe!

He's a cutie!

"...Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified..." 1st Corinthians 1:22-23

Tomorrow...

...I leave for Summer Camp!! I know it'll be an amazing, amazing week (it always is). I'm on Green Team just like last year, so I had fun this week scrounging around for all things green in my house! (And the mall...) Please pray that we would have great fellowship, growth, conviction and encouragement this week.
.
On a completely unrelated note, the other day I was outside with my camera and I saw this little guy:

 

I came a little bit closer to I could get some good shots of him and his nut:

 

Heehee!! I LOVE his face!!

When he saw me coming closer, he ran up the tree to eat his nut in peace.

 

I LOVE this - I think it looks like he's praying!! Hah!!

See you all next week - I'm sure I'll have LOTS of stories, encouragements and pictures to share!! :)

Carnal and Unbelieving

It's been so beautiful here lately. The weather has been warm, but not too hot, and sunny. I'm beginning to realize how much it affects my mood. I'm so much happier when it's nice outside. It's like my brain and sun are somehow connected...when the sun is behind the clouds, my own mind clouds over. 

And when my mind clouds over, it's like I'm a different person. I'm impatient, sometimes rude to my family and I'm just not very happy. Worst of all, I'm less motivated to meditate on the Word. I'm less motivated to honor God in all I think, say and do. I just want to curl up with a blanket and play spider solitaire, shunning all of my schoolwork and chores and devotionals. And then when the clouds clear, and it's sunny and bright, and warm...I take my dog out on a walk, turn on the worship music on my iPod and I feel alive again. It just depends on outward circumstances. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone feel like they can't motivate themselves to be on fire for Jesus when the weather's bad? Or they're sick? Or they're in a bad mood? 

I'm realizing that He is who He is, no matter where I am. God is still the same even when I'm not. Still, it's a struggle to get into this mentality. I need Him so much!

It is not the distance of the earth from the sun, nor the sun's withdrawing itself, that makes a dark and gloomy day; but the interposition of clouds and vaporous exhalations. Neither is thy soul beyond the reach of the promise, nor does God withdraw Himself; but the vapours of thy carnal, unbelieving heart do cloud thee.-John Owen

This quote is very encouraging to me. It reminds me that no matter how I'm feeling, God is still the same. He never forsakes me. In my sinful, fickle nature, I just refuse to seek Him.

Just some thoughts. It's a little bit gloomy today, and of course, I'm feeling a little down. But writing this is helpful. It's good to admit when we're struggling. If we act as though sin doesn't exist, we're denying ourselves and lying to others. I've been feeling convicted of this, too. It's so hypocritical to pretend like everything's dandy when we obviously need accountability, fellowship and encouragement each other. I don't know what I would do without these things! :)

...

On a different note, I need some prayer. In two weeks and 4 days (I'm so excited!!) my youth group is leaving for summer camp. I LOVE summer camp, but the past two years my team has gotten 4th place. Now, I'm paranoid that it'll happen 3 years in a row. This is so ridiculous!! It's so prideful to let a silly little thing like THAT get in the way of my feelings during camp. With all of the teaching we hear, the songs we worship with, and the fellowship we have, that's all I'm concerned about?? I need an attitude change!!

...

I'll leave you with this song: (Again, rather unrelated...I'm in an eclectic mood, haven't you noticed? Hehe!)

Isn't this boy amazing?? I love his version. Be Thou My Vision is my absolute favorite song in the world, no question about it. This gave me so much joy. :)

For You and You alone

In our hearts, Lord, in this nation
Awakening
Holy Spirit, we desire
Awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

In Your presence, in Your power
Awakening
For this moment, for this hour
Awakening


I need this often. I wake up in the morning, I wash my face, I drink coffee. I go about my day, I pray, I read God's word, I listen to my praise music. I feel His presence all the time...I know He's always there. Yet I still need an awakening. My natural inclination is to sin, to not please God. I need an awakening sometimes, and I think we all do.


Like the rising sun that shines...
From the darkness comes a light...
I hear Your voice, and this is my
Awakening.

Hallejuah!

It is finished.

John Piper on Worship

In my quiet time this morning (I'm doing Life as a Vapor), I read John Piper's letter to a man who was against worship because it made God seem 'arrogant', especially since we didn't 'ask' to be created.

Piper mentioned a few things that struck a chord with me. 

He mentioned that, of course, God is more than worthy of our praise. He is greatly to be praised because He is great! "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised." (Psalm 96:4) Also, Piper says the Bible talks about praise as being pleasurable in Psalm 16:11. This is all undeniable.

But some of my favorite things Piper said was that God demands praise from us because He demands happiness from us. "Deep in our hearts we know that we were not made to be made much of. We were made to make much of something great. The best joys are when we forget ourselves, enthralled with greatness. The greatest greatness is God's." How beautiful is that? He couldn't have said it better - the most joyful moments lie in the moments when we aren't focused on ourselves. Standing before Niagara Falls. Canoeing through the shining lake in Canada. Standing in the Sears Centre with a thousand other people, singing God with Us by MercyMe...just like the picture above. 

Another beautiful thing Piper talks about is that God gifts us with praise out of love. "The reason God seeks our praise is not because He won't be complete until He gets it. He is seeking our praise because we won't be complete until we give it. This is not arrogance. It is love." See, it all makes sense now. Of course God doesn't NEED our praise. He doesn't need anything! It's us that are in need. And so God gives. He gives us the gift of music so that we can feel His presence and revel in His beauty. For me at least, worshiping makes me despise sin. Because in those moments of praise it's so clear: God is so infinitely better than anything our sin promises. Worship is such a gift. An amazing, beautiful gift!

Oh, sing to the LORD a new song!

For He has done marvelous things; 

His right hand and His holy arm have gained Him the victory.
The LORD has made known His salvation;

His righteousness He has revealed in the sight of the nations.
He has remembered His mercy and His faithfulness to the house of Israel;

All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth;

Break forth in song, rejoice, and sing praises.
Sing to the LORD with the harp,

With the harp and the sound of a psalm,
With trumpets and the sound of a horn;

Shout joyfully before the LORD, the King.
      
Let the sea roar, and all its fullness,

The world and those who dwell in it;
Let the rivers clap their hands;

Let the hills be joyful together
before the LORD, 

For He is coming to judge the earth. 

With righteousness He shall judge the world, 

And the peoples with equity.

-Psalm 98

The Proverbs 31 Woman

"

"10 A wife of noble character who can find?

   She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her

   and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,

   all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax

   and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

   bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still night;

   she provides food for her family

   and portions for her female servants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;

   her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,

   and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff

   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor

   and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;

   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

   and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

   she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,

   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household

   and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

   her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women do noble things,

   but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,

   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."


What does it mean to be all of these things? Times have changed since this Proverb was written. Obviously, there's traits that stay the same throughout time...eagerness to work, sympathy for the poor, strength and dignity. These are important. But there's things that have changed in the modern world. If I don't sew clothes for my family, am I not a noble wife in the sight of God? I love sewing, but there's many women who don't. I don't feel as though that's sinful! If I don't make linen garments and sell them, if my 'trading' is not profitable...is that wrong?


I'm going to pick apart this passage and re-word it in more modern terms. I believe that there's more of an attitude that is being presented here. After all, to just do these actions without any feeling would be legalistic. So I wanted to give my opinion on what attitudes and good duties are stressed here.


10-Who can find a noble wife? She is rare. She is worth so much more than precious gems. 11-Her husband is fully confident that she is good, and his values are good. 12-As long as she lives, his wife helps him, and doesn't harm him. 13-She picks up useful things and eagerly works with them. 14-Like a merchant ship, she brings in food from all over the place. 15-She gets up very early to make sure there is food for her family. 16-With her money, she assesses the things she is thinking of buying and makes use of those things. 17-Her arms are strong as she vigorously works. 18-She makes sure she is spending money on useful things, and she doesn't just drop into bed as soon as it gets dark. 19-She works with useful things to provide for her family. 20-She cares about the poor and gives to those in need. 21-When the weather turns bad, she isn't worried because she has provided proper clothing for her family. 22-She takes care of her house and looks very presentable. 23-Her husband has a good job and is respected by all. 24-She does what she can to provide for her family. 25-She is strong and has dignity, and she isn't worried about the future. 26-She is wise and she faithfully instructs. 27-She takes care of her house and isn't lazy or negligent. 28-She children love and respect her, and so does her husband. 29-He tells her that he's glad that she is his wife. 30-Outward appearance is deceptive and it won't last. A woman who loves and fears the Lord is to be honored. 31-Let everyone honor all she has done.


So, I don't think I need to hold the distaff or sell linen at the city gates to be a God-honoring woman. I need to be strong and eager to do the work in my home. I need to provide food and clothing for my family so they won't be cold or hungry. I need to present myself respectably, but not be too absorbed in how I look because that's shallow. I need to lovingly correct my kids. I need to make sure I've married a good husband who loves the Lord and helps provide for his family. I need to use money wisely. I need to not be lazy, or worry about how I will provide for my family in the future.


And of course, above all, I need to do all these things in His name and glorify Him as long as I live!!

Wisconsin Pictures

First thing's first... I wanted to get around to posting photos from my friend Alex's cabin up in Wisconsin, even though it's been nearly two months. Yikes! In any case, it was a great trip. I'm really blessed to have Alex as a friend, and we had some really great spiritual talks.

Just thought I'd share :)

Tree of Life

"Hope deferred...

                         
     ...makes the heart sick...

...but a longing fulfilled...

                                             
 ...is a Tree of Life."

Proverbs 13:12