What is Love?

noun, verb, loved, lov·ing. - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

What is love, anyway? How is the world's love and God's love different? How are we supposed to love one another?

I think that once we understand the difference between our kind of love and the world's kind of love, we can better understand the difference between the world's view of God and our view of God. The two go hand-in-hand.

The world often views God as someone who doesn't exist, or an enemy. But I think these people - the active Atheists - are in the minority compared to what I like to call "convenience Christians". These people claim to "know" God, and speak of Him nicely, but they're only getting half of Him. What I mean is that, they prefer to focus on God's grace, mercy and beauty, but when it comes to His (rightful) wrath and judgment, it comes to a halt.

This morning, I was thinking about how closely this relates to the world's take on "love". I've always felt that, as Christians, our view on love is so different than the world's, for many different reasons. And once we crack this whole matter open, we can understand God better, and most importantly, we can understand Him for ALL that He is.

Here are some examples of the world's "love":

• Giving someone what they want in order to make them happy or comfortable. I once heard, on another blog post about a woman who let her high school senior daughter get a boob job certain enhancements because she "just wanted her to be happy". And recently, I was watching the TLC T.V. show called "Toddlers and Tiaras" when I picked up another example. 4-year-old Makenzie still used a pacifier for comfort, and even had a name for her ("Ni-ni! Mommy, I want my Ni-ni! Give me her!"). Her Mom excused her actions by saying "I tried taking Ni-ni away from Makenzie for a couple of weeks, but I felt so bad that I just had to give it back." Yikes.

• Lust, or sexual attraction. This is huge. People these days think that when they feel physically attracted to someone, or they "want" them, it means that they love them. In reality, that's not what real love is. Don't get me wrong - physical attraction is NOT bad. Of course not! God created us to be sexual creatures, didn't He? No, what I'm trying to say is that physical attraction is only part of a relationship, not the foundation or the cornerstone of it.

• Most common, I think, is acceptance and tolerance. This is also huge. While it's important to be loving and patient when keeping someone accountable, there's a fine line between that and letting the matter slip completely. It's all the rage these days..."you can't change who you are." You can be have anger problems, and the world will tell you that it's okay, because you can't change who you are. You can be homosexual, and the world will tell you that's just fine, because of course, that's just the way you are. You can defy authority, indulge in lust, and even murder unborn children and what will the world tell you? That it's just fine, of course. Now, this could easily stray off-topic, so I'll wrap it up: constantly reassuring someone that their sin is "okay" is NOT love. I'll touch base on this later.

The point is pretty clear: the world is pretty messed up on this whole "love" deal. To the unsaved, love is making life comfortable for someone, lusting over them, and reassuring them of their own "self-worth" when they mess up. But the Bible teaches us something very, very different. The way God loves us and the way we are to love each other differs, because only God can truly judge the motives of the heart, and we can only guess. But they're still very closely linked. Here's what God has to say about love:

• God's love is grounded in discipline. God's love isn't making us feel "good" - it's Him doing what He (of course!) knows is best for us. In Revelation 3:19, God tells us that "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline." And Proverbs 12:1 says " Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid." God wants us to be holy, and He wants us to be satisfied in Him, therefore glorifying Him to the fullest. We need to CRAVE God's discipline, because we know that it's the very best thing for us.
• God's love is everlasting. Psalm 100:5 tells us that "the LORD is good and his love endures forever." His love isn't just a feeling or an emotion. It won't come and go. It will ALWAYS remain - no matter what the circumstance.
• God's love isn't always what we want. This is an elaboration of the first point. Isaiah 55:8 says: "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,'” declares the LORD." We aren't the ones who know best. God is. He knows that the simple, brief pleasures in life aren't what will sustain us in the end. It's His discipline. It's the knowledge that He is in charge, not us. Although God's love might confuse our sinful minds, it's what our love towards each other must be grounded in.

Now that we have a clear picture of God's love, how are we supposed to take it into account? What are we supposed to do? Like I said, we don't always know the thoughts and intentions of other peoples' hearts. Only God can see within. When we hold them accountable, we can't speak for God. But we can try to mirror the love He shows for us to the best of our ability. And God shows us lots of ways that we are to love each other:

•  Accountability. God disciplines us, but that's different. Discipline is God's job; reminding each other about God's discipline is our job. I've found that unfortunately, many Christians take the liberty to judge others based on their own personal convictions instead of solid, biblical truths. I'm not exempt from this. I've sinned this way in order to feel better about myself. Again, this could easily branch off into another discussion, but I'll leave it with this: Galatians 6:1 tells us that "if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted." The first part is easy - hold each other accountable lovingly. The second part is more challenging - we can't become judgmental or holier-than-thou. Because then we're not truly loving the person we're restoring - we're only trying to make ourselves feel better about our own sin.
• Wanting what's best. Boob jobs for high-schoolers and pacifiers for 4-year-olds are not what's best. Discipline is. The Bible is clear on this: "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." Proverbs 13:24. My Dad said that other night, "tough love is the most genuine love." It's so very true. He and my Mom have made sure that my siblings and I know that. The reason they discipline us is because they love us.
• True feelings of affection, not just shallow lust. The Bible very clearly warns us to stay away from sexual immorality (Romans 13:13). When you sin sexually, you aren't just hurting yourself. Obviously, you're hurting the other person, too. Taking away someone's innocence for your own brief pleasure is not love. Waiting until marriage is. Denying the sinful desires of the flesh and submitting to God's authority is love - loving yourself and the one you're in love with.
• And of course, the infamous 1st Corinthians 13 passage: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." When we hold each other accountable, we're supposed to be patient and kind. True love won't be jealous or prideful, it will be selfless and humble. Love won't be committed to dishonor others in sexual immorality, only to satisfy self. Love won't lash out quickly and hold grudges. Love will cling to what is good. Love will defend what is good and put all its faith in what is good. Love will prevail when all else fails.

What is love? This is love.

Happy Valentine's Day... ;-)