My Prayer

“Bad company corrupts good character.” - 1st Corinthians 15:33

Sometimes, the weight of the world presses on me
so hard that I can hardly breathe -
Only short breaths pulse through my lungs,
I cannot breathe deeply.
Just as it is with bad company
they tighten us, strain us
Only shallow thoughts flick through our mind,
we make ourselves content with the trivial.

Our character begins to decay with time
the influence of those we know
chipping away at our passion, our desire
for our one and only true God.
This is my prayer -
that we would turn away from anything
that threatens to minimize our desire for Christ
and maximize our tolerance - no, even our love -
for things that He abhors.
That we would shake our heads and defend
the truths we hold in our hearts
from His word.

This is my prayer.

Bloggy Makeover!

 

Welcome to my new and improved blog! :) Joy, for me, is not usually something I struggle to have. But in my sophomore and junior year, I experienced some pretty hard "down-yos." Thus, Joy in the Morning was perfect for my life at that moment in time. God has mercifully taken away much of the sadness and discontentment that I experienced during that time...but as you may have guessed from my last post, discontentment still lingers and I know in my heart of hearts that it's because of my irrational doubt about God's true fullness and the satisfaction He brings merely by being in our lives. May I constantly be reminding myself that His love is truly unfailing...as precious and edifying as our relationships here on earth may be, they will inevitably fail us from time to time just as we fail others, being the fallen beings we are. 

My favorite singer, Chris Tomlin, wrote this song...just as Sovereign Grace's song "Joy in the Morning" was sort of my "bloggy theme song" before I changed it, this song, "Unfailing Love," will be fulfilling the same purpose. Enjoy. :)

A Follow-Up from my Last Post

I wanted to add this quote from one of my favorite authors, Leslie Ludy. I think it fits in perfectly with what I was trying to convey the other night, and it's been a huge challenge & encouragement for me lately.

"Even a beautiful God-scripted love story can never satisfy the way Jesus does. Even the most heroic and Christlike man on earth can never fulfill the longings of our heart like the true Prince and lover of our soul (Jesus Christ). And until we are able to truly make Him our first love, until we are willing to give up our dream of an earthly love story for His sake, we will never know the fullness of Him who fills us all in all. We will always be looking to a mere man to meet the desires of our heart, rather than to the One who created us, who knows us better than we know ourselves, and who gave His very life's blood to rescue us."

Beautiful, true words.

Right Now.

Right now, I am walking and holding Jesus' left hand.
On His right, I notice that there is a young man walking steadily
holding His right hand, I can't see who that person is, nor do I know
when he will be mine.
Jesus is standing in my way.
At first, I am anxious and I feel unrest in my heart; I want to let go
of Jesus' hand and grab the young man's hand instead.
But Jesus whispers to me, "Keep holding on."
Then I realize that the more I look at Jesus
the less I worry about the person on the other side.
Jesus is enough to satisfy me...His strong hand in
mine is all I need right now.
Years pass, and the three of us tread onward.
While I cannot deny my longing to see and touch
the grown man holding Jesus' right hand,
the strong, perfect hand in my own right grips me tightly
and does not let go, and my longing for that man is calmed.
My curiosity grows - but it never overcomes my deep love for Jesus.
Then one day, I feel Jesus squeeze my hand lightly, and I turn to gaze
into His precious eyes...they gaze back at me and He smiles.
Then he whispers..."It is time."
He brings the man's hand and places it gently in mine.
Then He releases our hands, only to walk behind us,
with two hands placed firmly
on our shoulders.
I revel deeply in the joy that the hand holding mine brings me,
but even more so,
I rejoice in the hands that are on our shoulders,
guiding us,
protecting us,
holding us up.

Lately, God has been convicting me of some serious idolatry. I am putting all of my confidence and finding all my hope and joy into the created rather than the Creator. I won't deny that, even though I'm only 17 (as my family members are quick to point out...I am grateful for their accountability!) I'm experiencing some fierce longings for an earthly romance, a pure and innocent wedding, and a sweet family to call my own. All good things in and of themselves...but to let go of Jesus' hand, running after these things that will only happen in this life? 

I hope this analogy can encourage anyone going through the same thing...the discontentment, the impatience (at my age, I know, I KNOW!), the pressure from all of the guys and girls who bounce from one boyfriend/girlfriend to the other, seemingly content and joyful with all of the attention and comfort that that brings. (As if.)

For those who long to sing this:

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." - Psalm 16:11

Fullness of joy...FULL. Complete. In HIS presence. At HIS right hand.

Forevermore.

Le Chemin, Le Verite, et La Vie.

A Little Creation for You All :)

I'm so sorry that I've neglected posting. I visit this blog every day (to check for comments and visit other blogs, you know, the norm) and I always feel a twinge of guilt for not posting. But then I never do. Ahh!

Well, about 5 weeks ago, my family and I went to our cabin on an island in Lake of the Woods, Canada. It's an incredible place and I always feel God's presence SO acutely when I'm there. It's very much in the middle of nowhere and there's no people around, except for the occasional boat. I love it, because it's the perfect getaway and the peacefulness makes me feel more content and ready to dive into God's word and worship. I had a TON of fun with my camera (I got it AFTER Canada last year so I hadn't used it there yet. SO exciting!) and with subsequent editing on Picnik. ;) Enjoy...and let's never, ever stop marveling at our Creator.

Just look at this sunset!! I couldn't believe how beautiful it was. Oh, those COLORS!!!

Every time I'm riding the boat out to our island, this is the song that runs through my head:

Indescribable by Chris Tomlin

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same...
You are amazing God!

Always a Purpose

Has anyone ever had a billion self-defeating thoughts rush into your head at once, so fast that all you feel like doing is crying and saying, "I'M JUST NOT WORTH IT!" Because I sure have. Today was one of those days. I'm constantly feeling like I'm just, not, good, enough! I'll never have what I want because what I want is too 'good' for me. Thoughts like: That brilliantly intelligent/very attractive/very spiritually mature (whatever they happen to be!) guy will NEVER like ME! rush into my head. That's a good example, unfortunately, there's so much more. These thoughts are not only a worthless cycle, but I think it goes deeper. You know? There's some trust issues I've got to work on.

 My precious Father loves me and has the most wonderful plan for my life, but here's the catch: I'll be miserable with what He's got unless...unless I am in Him and He has helped me shape my desires to His. Until then, my whole life will be drudgery: Waiting for high school to end will seem like I'm a marshmallow that God is getting ready to toast for smore's, completing college essays will seem like God slowly putting that stick through my abdomen, and waiting for my husband to make his stellar appearance will seem like God sloowwlllyyy roasting me over the fire. Fun, no?

And yet, there is another option. As long as I am in Christ, there is no drudgery...there is beautiful purpose. There is time to grow in the Word, to get lost in prayer, to completely lose myself in my Savior! The Christian life always has a God-given purpose, whether single or married, full of babies or barren, rich or poor... How amazing is that??

 I feel like I'm not good enough for what I desire, which is a family, but I'm realizing that it's not about being "good" enough, it's about waiting for God to shape and mold you, and to wait for His timing while all the time getting to know Him better. This was/is a huge lesson for me! I'm going to pray that God would continue to help us all be content...whether it be with our singleness, or with our barrenness, or just with anything we may want but not feel ready or worthy of attaining. God is enough to satisfy!

"As for God, his way is perfect" - Psalm 18:30

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" - Jeremiah 29:11

"The pain now is part of the pleasure later." - C.S. Lewis
 

"Our mentality is: 'God, tell me who, tell me when, and tell me how...and then I'll trust You!' What God wants us to see is that if He did this, our trust wouldn't be real. We want a definitive answer so that we don't feel weak, vulnerable and dependent on Him. But guess what? We are weak, vulnerable and dependent on Him. And it's only when we realize our true condition that God can demonstrate His love on our behalf." - Joshua Harris