Repentance can be so hard. But in the end, it feels so good. And I don't mean "good" in a fleshly, carnal way, but in a fulfilling, satisfying way.
Today I was reading in Colossians and found this verse:
"God made (us) alive together with Him, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This He set aside, nailing it to the cross."
It reminded me of this verse in "It Is Well":
"My sin (oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!)
My sin, not in part, but the whole...
Is NAILED to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, oh my soul!"
Fairly simple words, but they've blessed me so much today.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Singleness
Discontentment with singleness is a hard thing to deal with. I know, because I struggle with it. What annoys me about myself is that even though I'm still really young (18), this dissatisfaction is a prominent thought in my mind. I look at (beautiful, wonderful) girls who are 21, 23, even 30, who strongly desire husbands but don't have one, and despise myself for being so impatient and frivolous. How bad will it be, I ask myself, when you're still feeling the same way 5 years from now? What if God never gives you a husband? Will you just be depressed for the rest of your life? I desire to get to a point where I can think about having a significant other without a feeling of desperation, but can still say, "that sounds good right about now!" I know it's incredibly unrealistic for me to lose a desire for marriage completely - and I do believe this is a good desire, until it becomes idolization - although the power of God over the human mind is, of course, NOT limited. This is problematic for me because I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl. Typically, I'm either uninterested or obsessed. Lately, God has been so gracious to me, and turned my boy obsession and longing into a softer, less lingering desire. But the discontentment is still there.
Then comes the tugging at my heart, and I remember that of course I'm still struggling, because I haven't turned to Scripture and prayer to solve this problem. So to combat these emotions, I did a little Word search and came up with these verses (and quotes from other Christians). I hope this helps anyone who feels the way I do.
Matthew 6:33: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
"Sometimes God lets you hit rock bottom so that you discover *He* is the Rock at the bottom." - Tony Evans
"The only one who can satisfy the human heart is the one who made it." (I don't know who said this)
Convicting!!
Then comes the tugging at my heart, and I remember that of course I'm still struggling, because I haven't turned to Scripture and prayer to solve this problem. So to combat these emotions, I did a little Word search and came up with these verses (and quotes from other Christians). I hope this helps anyone who feels the way I do.
Matthew 6:33: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
"Sometimes God lets you hit rock bottom so that you discover *He* is the Rock at the bottom." - Tony Evans
"The only one who can satisfy the human heart is the one who made it." (I don't know who said this)
Convicting!!
Amen!
If you're a woman who desires to get married, but doesn't have a significant other, and you're older than 18 and you think it's ridiculous that I'm struggling with discontentment at my age, I'm truly sorry. You're probably right. But, it's how I feel, and when I feel, I think, and when I think, I write, and when I write, I blog.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Summertime Update
Hey all!
So, summer has come and hit full stride. I know this because I'm sitting in bed in my PJs with no make-up, drinking coffee with the covers over me at 11:30 a.m. Hah! Laziness is my best and worst friend...I've covered this already on this blog, right? Great! I don't need to again. ;)
Graduation has come and gone. That's right...13 (THIRTEEN!) years of home-schooling has come to a close. This is bittersweet. I LOVE being home-schooled. I love the flexibility of it, the independence and self-motivation I've learned (though I'll admit that's not my strongest point.....), the freedom from bad influences of peers (don't get me wrong, please...I AM socialized!) and the biblical worldview you get from Christian curriculum. But at the same time, I'm ready to move on to a new stage of life. College! It would be more dramatic if I were leaving home, but I'm not. It's community college for this girl. And that's just fine with me.
Before I graduated, I got my Senior Pictures done. I love them! My photographer did an awesome job. If you're in the Chicagoland area and need a good, creative, and well-priced photographer, check him out at http://danielsather.com/. You won't be disappointed!
In other news, well this isn't really "news," but I welcomed a new addition back in April. This is Briar, my rabbit. He made an appearance in my Senior photos because he's that precious to me. :-)
So, summer has come and hit full stride. I know this because I'm sitting in bed in my PJs with no make-up, drinking coffee with the covers over me at 11:30 a.m. Hah! Laziness is my best and worst friend...I've covered this already on this blog, right? Great! I don't need to again. ;)
Graduation has come and gone. That's right...13 (THIRTEEN!) years of home-schooling has come to a close. This is bittersweet. I LOVE being home-schooled. I love the flexibility of it, the independence and self-motivation I've learned (though I'll admit that's not my strongest point.....), the freedom from bad influences of peers (don't get me wrong, please...I AM socialized!) and the biblical worldview you get from Christian curriculum. But at the same time, I'm ready to move on to a new stage of life. College! It would be more dramatic if I were leaving home, but I'm not. It's community college for this girl. And that's just fine with me.
Before I graduated, I got my Senior Pictures done. I love them! My photographer did an awesome job. If you're in the Chicagoland area and need a good, creative, and well-priced photographer, check him out at http://danielsather.com/. You won't be disappointed!
In other news, well this isn't really "news," but I welcomed a new addition back in April. This is Briar, my rabbit. He made an appearance in my Senior photos because he's that precious to me. :-)
Isn't he a cutie? He's pretty feisty, though. But it gives him personality. I like it better than a dull, lifeless thing that sits in his cage all day chewing hay. Well, that is Briar a chunk of the time, but he sure has a punch to him!! He likes to cuddle, for only for a while, ADORES sweet potatoes, and likes to wake Mom up at 6 a.m. loudly scratching on the bottom of his cage. I really love him. My Mom says I'm ridiculous the way I talk to him and she's probably right. Just wait until I have a more "advanced" pet, like a DOG...much less an actual human BABY! ;)
That's all that's new with me. A shower, a real breakfast, and the need for a clean bunny cage calls.
Have an amazing weekend!!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Romans 8:32
"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"
Today in my quiet time, I read a really great commentary on this verse by John Piper that I wanted to share. He talked about how this is the foundation that nothing can shake. He said it is "so strong and so solid and so secure that there is absolutely no possibility that the promise could ever be broken. This is what makes it an ever-present strength in times of great turmoil. Whatever else gives way, whatever else disappoints, whatever else fails, this all-encompassing promise of future grace can never fail."
This got to me. I struggle with triviality a lot. I look for shallow entertainment. Why? Because it's mindless, and I can just forget about the world and all of my problems. It's a very bad habit. But then, there are those times when only God's truth matters to me, and nothing else, period. Just last weekend, my parents and I went out to Evan's college in Iowa to watch his graduation ceremony. (On a side note: great job, bro!! So proud of you!) The weather was beautiful, but suddenly, the sky turned VERY dark and it started to rain hard. We were in a mall when the tornado sirens went blaring. We were corralled into a back room and had to sit and wait for the sirens to go off. I wasn't too scared, considering I've heard many tornado sirens in my life that turned out to be false alarms. But then, I heard the wind, even from the cement-covered room. And I could swear I heard something crashing and crumbling. Everyone in the room got very quiet. My stomach churned at first, but then I thought, "It's okay. If I die, I know where I'm going. And my parents are here, too - how perfect! They're the ones I worry about leaving behind the most. They say there is nothing worse than losing a child. But they'd just come along with me! And so would Evan! Oh, but what about Laura, Anna and Jeremy? And my friends? And..." Well, anyway, the point is, I didn't care about trivial things like clothes or make-up at that moment. All that mattered was life and death. The small things, piled on top of the foundation that Piper talks about, were swept away. All that mattered was the cross and what had been accomplished for me.
Of course, this tornado never reached us. It DID touch down, only a few miles from where we are, actually. Thankfully, no one was hurt. I spent the rest of that day feeling fulfilled. No, I didn't have everything my heart desired - far from it. But I had Jesus. I realized, very acutely, that when it really comes down to it, I have all I need. I have my strong foundation. And everything else just...doesn't matter.
Just something I felt like sharing. God is good. :)
Today in my quiet time, I read a really great commentary on this verse by John Piper that I wanted to share. He talked about how this is the foundation that nothing can shake. He said it is "so strong and so solid and so secure that there is absolutely no possibility that the promise could ever be broken. This is what makes it an ever-present strength in times of great turmoil. Whatever else gives way, whatever else disappoints, whatever else fails, this all-encompassing promise of future grace can never fail."
This got to me. I struggle with triviality a lot. I look for shallow entertainment. Why? Because it's mindless, and I can just forget about the world and all of my problems. It's a very bad habit. But then, there are those times when only God's truth matters to me, and nothing else, period. Just last weekend, my parents and I went out to Evan's college in Iowa to watch his graduation ceremony. (On a side note: great job, bro!! So proud of you!) The weather was beautiful, but suddenly, the sky turned VERY dark and it started to rain hard. We were in a mall when the tornado sirens went blaring. We were corralled into a back room and had to sit and wait for the sirens to go off. I wasn't too scared, considering I've heard many tornado sirens in my life that turned out to be false alarms. But then, I heard the wind, even from the cement-covered room. And I could swear I heard something crashing and crumbling. Everyone in the room got very quiet. My stomach churned at first, but then I thought, "It's okay. If I die, I know where I'm going. And my parents are here, too - how perfect! They're the ones I worry about leaving behind the most. They say there is nothing worse than losing a child. But they'd just come along with me! And so would Evan! Oh, but what about Laura, Anna and Jeremy? And my friends? And..." Well, anyway, the point is, I didn't care about trivial things like clothes or make-up at that moment. All that mattered was life and death. The small things, piled on top of the foundation that Piper talks about, were swept away. All that mattered was the cross and what had been accomplished for me.
Of course, this tornado never reached us. It DID touch down, only a few miles from where we are, actually. Thankfully, no one was hurt. I spent the rest of that day feeling fulfilled. No, I didn't have everything my heart desired - far from it. But I had Jesus. I realized, very acutely, that when it really comes down to it, I have all I need. I have my strong foundation. And everything else just...doesn't matter.
Just something I felt like sharing. God is good. :)
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Happy Belated New Year!
ALMOST FIVE MONTHS!! Wow, Emma! Way to fail at blogging. ;) I wish I could come up with some great excuse, like I've been diagnosed with some ultra-rare blood disease and I've been in and out of the hospital since October. (Okay, maybe I don't wish that.) But truth is, I've been bit by the L-bug. No, not lust, the other one. ;) Since October, I have been struggling a lot with the senioritis bug. I just want to be done. My teacher told me the other day that Seniors who decide who just have fun during their last year in High School do much worse in their college freshman year. And she's right. Still, it's hard.
In happy news, I'm now (well, have been for some time...) an official member of Grace Covenant Church! Yay!! I really love my church family. They are so sweet and encouraging, but love each other enough to point out sins, too. My pastor and his wife adopted an adorable baby in Nov. He is so precious!! Sometimes, it's hard for me to wait for motherhood (if that is God's plan of course), but I know that I need to be satisfied with God in each and every stage of life. It can be tempting, especially when people ask me, "you're almost 18. Don't you want a boyfriend?!" Yes and no. Really, it should be just no. But God is with me still. :)
I got a new iPod for Christmas, and we got wireless internet in our house. Okay people, this is dangerous. I don't mean that in an "I'm-tempted-to-look-at-bad-stuff" way, but in an "I-never-get-work-done-when-I-should-because-Angry-Birds-is-so-addicting" way. Ah!
I'm feeling a little under the weather today, and my Mom suggested I take a nap before I get really sick. So I'd better sign off for now. I'll end this extremely random post with a piccie of me and my sweet "niece," Lulu. I love her!!
In happy news, I'm now (well, have been for some time...) an official member of Grace Covenant Church! Yay!! I really love my church family. They are so sweet and encouraging, but love each other enough to point out sins, too. My pastor and his wife adopted an adorable baby in Nov. He is so precious!! Sometimes, it's hard for me to wait for motherhood (if that is God's plan of course), but I know that I need to be satisfied with God in each and every stage of life. It can be tempting, especially when people ask me, "you're almost 18. Don't you want a boyfriend?!" Yes and no. Really, it should be just no. But God is with me still. :)
I got a new iPod for Christmas, and we got wireless internet in our house. Okay people, this is dangerous. I don't mean that in an "I'm-tempted-to-look-at-bad-stuff" way, but in an "I-never-get-work-done-when-I-should-because-Angry-Birds-is-so-addicting" way. Ah!
I'm feeling a little under the weather today, and my Mom suggested I take a nap before I get really sick. So I'd better sign off for now. I'll end this extremely random post with a piccie of me and my sweet "niece," Lulu. I love her!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
My Prayer
“Bad company corrupts good character.” - 1st Corinthians 15:33
Sometimes, the weight of the world presses on me
so hard that I can hardly breathe -
Only short breaths pulse through my lungs,
I cannot breathe deeply.
Just as it is with bad company
they tighten us, strain us
Only shallow thoughts flick through our mind,
we make ourselves content with the trivial.
Our character begins to decay with time
the influence of those we know
chipping away at our passion, our desire
for our one and only true God.
This is my prayer -
that we would turn away from anything
that threatens to minimize our desire for Christ
and maximize our tolerance - no, even our love -
for things that He abhors.
That we would shake our heads and defend
the truths we hold in our hearts
from His word.
This is my prayer.
Sometimes, the weight of the world presses on me
so hard that I can hardly breathe -
Only short breaths pulse through my lungs,
I cannot breathe deeply.
Just as it is with bad company
they tighten us, strain us
Only shallow thoughts flick through our mind,
we make ourselves content with the trivial.
Our character begins to decay with time
the influence of those we know
chipping away at our passion, our desire
for our one and only true God.
This is my prayer -
that we would turn away from anything
that threatens to minimize our desire for Christ
and maximize our tolerance - no, even our love -
for things that He abhors.
That we would shake our heads and defend
the truths we hold in our hearts
from His word.
This is my prayer.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Bloggy Makeover!
Welcome to my new and improved blog! :) Joy, for me, is not usually something I struggle to have. But in my sophomore and junior year, I experienced some pretty hard "down-yos." Thus, Joy in the Morning was perfect for my life at that moment in time. God has mercifully taken away much of the sadness and discontentment that I experienced during that time...but as you may have guessed from my last post, discontentment still lingers and I know in my heart of hearts that it's because of my irrational doubt about God's true fullness and the satisfaction He brings merely by being in our lives. May I constantly be reminding myself that His love is truly unfailing...as precious and edifying as our relationships here on earth may be, they will inevitably fail us from time to time just as we fail others, being the fallen beings we are.
My favorite singer, Chris Tomlin, wrote this song...just as Sovereign Grace's song "Joy in the Morning" was sort of my "bloggy theme song" before I changed it, this song, "Unfailing Love," will be fulfilling the same purpose. Enjoy. :)
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